Jacobin Cuckoo

Maybe just for you
I have been waiting forever
I know dark clouds
being unique
I wait for you forever.

I drew that myself
The dark clouds
I wait for you
From beginning till end
Just to know you

I donot know if it will ever
happen or not.
Nevertheless i still wait-
countless dark afternoons
have passed
the arid smell has turned into whiff of mist
Still I await to quench my thirst

I know you are unique...
I know the dark clouds will
increase my hope
I wait still
Neck still.. and stiff
with increased hope

If ever at this end-
i fly from end to end
I can reach to the end
just for you

=======================================
Jacobin Cuckoo-- Chataka in Sanskrit
above poem is inspired by words of song- sudhoi tomar jonno (manna dey) seasoned with  my twist ,and quirks :-)

Bouncing back from dissapointments...2 simple drugs

Two things I force myself to do to bounce back from deep disappointments. 1st is immersing myself in a very good fiction book, anytime I will have a long pending half finished book. 2nd is writing down.. it used to be journals earlier, nowadays I try to write down in notes app.. then may be if not very personal share it in this obscure blog entry that I maintain. Alternate to my first idea is immersing myself in very hard and difficult work. Basically keeping myself away from negative emotions. There is always the opportunity to talk with someone very close... Maybe best friends , parents, wife or son or with teammates. Increasingly I find people not much interested in conversation but they are all connected. All the apps , socialmedia which are fantastic connectio
n enabler but somehow something is missed.
I also believe the down times like these has helped me a lot. Whether it was loss of an important place in March past or at the last moment thrown out of extempore speech competition. The reading of les miserables in 4 hours flat helped me a lot. In one case I remember I wrote a long article and it got published. Later when I grew up and in college I remember the poor academic records used to put me in dumps but  reading good books used to perk me up. I remember reading a brief history of time ..Surrounded with mosquitoes after failing a particular subject for 2nd time. I still get nightmares about that. My greatest downtime was in year 2000.. when I faced multiple rejections , hurt and bruised- I had to.employ both no.1 and 2 trick. But the fiction was replaced by scriptures like Gita, vedas and re reading of works of swami vivekananda and swami abhedananda. On a particular winter night , I remember writing pages and pages of emotional poetry. Then late at night understood it is of no use. The pages and writings .. I tore them.off slowly but deliberately and threw them.over mutha river. That bridge walk was one of the loneliest. Tears of anguish but then I calmed down. Next 2 years I worked like a man possessed. Slowly but steadily I got grips. It took me 10 years of struggle and very very hard work to come to little bit of sanity. Things started looking up. Small but significant success started coming up. Still there were deep disappointments. Seniors taking away credits, peers just sidelining you, teammates back stabbing... Once I worked very hard to get a line card and when everything was set and I was expecting that I will get the chance to go to US to study more about it.. boss assigned it to someone else.This time binge reading of 12 Agatha Christie's and 3 omnibuses of PG Wodehouse helped. Today again when another such lost opportunity and that feeling comes... Such things you cannot tell also. Hence I wrote... Will it help if i post it.. who cares?? And next I will read again a Wodehouse and mati nandi...So what I did all the hard work for 15 years and others will enjoy the adulation of supplier in US. There will be better opportunity for me.

The road back home

Road trips for road warriors are always meaningful. Specially if it is familiar road, one which you take very frequently. But today was different. For some reasons unknown to me. It was the familiar road from BIAL  Bangalore airport to home. Each time I come back from trip. It is always in my mind some kind of trip review. Sometimes I will be happy and drunk on the success of trip, sometimes pensive about losing a big order. Sometimes I will be relieved , sometimes overjoyed to have the prospect of getting a warm hug from Amrita and Birsa. Many a times full of resolve to do something new. But today I was feeling tired  and sad. Very sad. Usually the meru cabs will fly on the road and I will marvel. Today somehow I felt betrayed, unrecognized and bit sidelined. Maybe it was the same feeling that Alexander the great got when he was returning back from the bank's of Indus. Maybe my accomplishment will someday be recognized and recorded. Years of hard work will be rewarded. I live on hope.. I look forward.

काश

काश यह हो पाता
वो मेरी होती
और मैं उसका।
काश यह हो पाता
सपनो में उन्हें पाने की जगह
वो होती मेरी हर ख़ुशी की वजह।
तलाश ना जाने किसकी हैं इन आँखों को,
हासिल हैं बहुत कुछ....
मगर तसल्ली फिर भी नहीं..
वो याद आये यूँ ही बहुत..
की लौट आएं सब सिलसिले...
वो ठंडी हवा, वो  गिरते पत्ते
और वो नवंबर का महीना।
याद हैं अभी भी मुझे
वो गम,
जो नही हुआ कभी कम।
इतना प्यार,
फिर भी कुछ ना पाने का गम।
कितनी बातें
बस मन में थाम,
चल पड़ा मैं फिर दिल को थाम।
दोपहर हो आयी जिंदगी की
ठंडी शाम की हैं स्थिति,
तब जाके कहीं वो मिली हस के
कुछ चंद मिनटों में,
निकल ही गया मेरे से
क्या था मेरा सपना
जो उसे साथ न दे पाया।
प्यारी सी हँसी हस के
उसने निगल गयी
मेरी इच्छा को।
कह दी बस मेरे सुकुन के लिए
फिर कहीं, फिर कभी।

The Squall

The lighting breaks afar

signalling that soon we will have 

relief from hot weather.

The gust of wind 

brings the sweet smell of 

water inside the air.

The small plant bows

with seeds yet to sow

With painful eye

of squall 

Sudden declaration of 

thunder

its here--

The hot and humid afternoon turn into 

an unruly tempest

Bringing up memories of past

Better not to think.

The squall within-

brings the tear drops

As if it was stalled 

for long.

The high winds- gets

slow

as fast as it 

showed

its fury

its lightening

Bring up Baba by Birsa- 3

Summer holidays have started. These are the time- I enjoy because it gives more time to interact with Birsa. As both myself and Amrita work and there will be 6 weeks when we have these small problem-- of leaving Birsa alone at home. Till last year- we will put him to summer camps. The straight talker that Birsa is-- he complained 2 years in row-- " these classes are not teaching me anything that i donot know". This year he was very clear and adamant- he doesnot want to join the summer camps and waste money. But he is like any 10 year old and we were worried how he can manage alone till one of us return home everyday. Thankfully my mother in law decided to spend 2 weeks with us and that was a great relief.Add to it due to general elections- we had this week- which had 4 days holiday in row.
Birsa does not mince word about the feedback he gives. innocent words but pointed. Though he is very diplomatic with all others but with me he shoots directly. I take those feedback as gift and opportunity to learn & improve.This year also i bought lot of worksheets and experimented with different kind of activities. But I do get excited and my sense of discipline sometimes makes me scold him. He gave a pointed feedback few days back- "I know when you scold you want me to avoid wrong, but you can always point out the wrong and allow me to correct rather than shouting". I was like--- .... OMG......So I asked --" was that a feedback?"-- he told yes... it was a point to improve and gave me that studied look.
Talking about feedback--
During her stay with us my mother-in-law had this practice of making sherbet ( a Varanasi version of lemonade)- twice a day. I also got it 2-3 times and felt that it was easy to make. Yesterday- when summer activities were bit boring and my emails/calls all over- I thought to give it a try. I become a full fledged chemistry student inside kitchen-- and that is why I am barred to carry out much activities by Amrita. However - it was just lemonade.. so I got my chance. I did accurate measures of sugar, lemon was properly de-seeded, and put in equal measures.Right mix of cold and hot water was done and then ice cubes were given. Finally the end result was tasted-- i found it to good to go.
After i served it to both-- Amrita's feedback as usual is -- Good ( condescending teacher that she is!!! never gives feedback which hurts in any way). Birsa's feedback was very interesting. umm.. baba- it is good , rather very good, but still not as good as Dimaiya's  (my mother in law) one. Seeing my puzzled look he assured- I will still give you 8 out of 10. You missed tiny bit of salt and forgot to put love as much as Dimaiya does.

A very valuable lesson and feedback for me. In pursuit of excellence- whether it is solving customer problem or helping a maker/start up realize the product- do i not get into all business and forget that love part?
So - love more, judge less, work harder and make it better.

A simple thought for the other half

She was in her zone. In those special times when she is focused and knows what to do and how to do. When the what, why and where is clear in mind. Something to do and leave a mark. It was not much about money but there was this nagging ache somewhere... Ohh to be recognised as greatest in the world. She of all people, being very practical knew it is not easy... It was damn difficult but she also knew it was not impossible. Like any ordinary person who has huge bag load of ambition and eyes full of dream.. she wanted to make a difference. She was the lovely fighter, and never wants to give up. So what she got married at tender age despite being one of the smartest in university. So what she had to adopt a family and follow the norms of society. So what she was told 'this is it'. Remain satisfied with what you got and stop dreaming about yourself. You are allowed to dream only about others, help others to achieve their dream. Life long 'sewa'.  But she dreamed
....
Dreamed to be someone to be recognised. Someone to make difference and get recognised. Little hatke. With fiery desire...In her heart. Was there support?. Yes.. but limited.

Does the above paragraph seems cliche. It is..The same story in and around you , my dear man... And we the superb men of India act like ostrich and keep our head inside the sand. Not out of fear but sheer lack of empathy. That has made us lose a huge chunk of precious human capital. I wonder if we could have harnessed this 'sakti' properly ..How will we be benefitted. It will be sheer astronomical gain.
How do I contribute to.make it better for her?
As a start, encourage and encourage. There are enough people to say negatives and pull her down. I don't want to be the one.
Because I wonder even if I the one third the zeal what she has... I would be a much better man.
And they deserve my unconditional love. Love which is without agenda and love which is without any expectation.
Third, they will face conflicts from different players  and layers of relationship. I will have to help her, sometimes i may seema foolish but let it be.  She deserve to have atleast one who thinks the world of her and loves her a little too much.
Will it make any big impact?
The jury will be out till there will be some visible results. But yes, there will be eternal satisfaction... I tried.

P.S.. and-Then there is this lady whom i love little too much.. who would like to sleep a little bit more. I want her to be guilt free and often tell it is ok to let her hair down a bit-- it is ok to have different push and pull in life. Have so many commitments at different front. anyways seven hours is must at this age and profile. We can never compare or strive to be another Modi-- that relentless prime minister who i wonder when he rests.. and still achieves so much more. Lead a lovely and blessed life.

Identity Crisis

It is election time- 2019 General elections. Elections in India is a spectacle, it is dance of democracy and festival of democracy. An exercise- which is very interesting for a person like me. Even tough i take deep interest in politics and have moderate to lenient view on most of the hot topics that effect us in and around, but still I got some germinating ideas. First it started with the most brilliant marketing blitzkrieg by Mr. Narendra Modi. He started with this superb idea of adding 'chowkidar' in front of everyone's name. I feel this one move itself-- just to let identify his loyalists with a tag of watchmen is taking him to success. Means- who will not like to identify as watchmen for his country, ever watchful, common person. I was tempted too to do the same- then i questioned myself. Have i not een watchful enough all these 4 decades. Didn't i watch first television in community viewing area- the mass outpouring of grief after assassination of Indira Gandhi, she was mass popular politician. She was revered but had her shortcomings. But curiously TV entered through Asiad and during live telecast of her final journey. I remember as a 8 year old boy- people identifying themselves with black badge of remorse. Then those riots-- sikhs getting killed. Extremism everywhere. I also identified myself with left politics at its height. When it was fashion to say 'lal selam'. Anybody having was bourgoius...a term imported from Russia. and it was fashion to identify one with downtrodden. I read all available literature on left politics. I identified more with socialism. The isms clouded my entire schooling. Ideologies of ultra left to ultra right-- right from marxism, leninism and calls of ' duniya ke majdoor ek ho' to ' inkilab jindabad' all seem to me good. The social work of RSS, books of veer savarkar, hedgewar jostled with classics and das kapital too. Participating and working with international red cross, Rotract club- gave me more exposure. More identity. Each identity was as unique and colorful as today's ' main bhi chowkidar'. Participating in social activities- CRY, scouts, ncc, along with playing with all types of kids TT, hockey and kabaddi-- suddenly made me a person who questioned every 'ism... every damn thought process. I took to reading Swami Vivekananda, paramhamsha, read Gita, kuran and all vedas. some i understood, some were like- whats that?
Identity never became clear to me.
The reservations during mandal commission- frustrated me- still does. The missed opportunities- still made me feel I am very high caste!!! There were times- dark enough to make me forget all pains and jump into work head long.
Now when the identity crisis looms too much- I find solace in my own world. The identity crisis is real.
And I am fine. Because - we need to ascertain with basics of humanity.
I believe in doing good to others. My identity revolves around integrity and honesty. At various stages of life- i had done mistakes, learnt from them. corrected them and i am just fine.
I still believe in power of love. I still identify strongly with various -isms.. and all at same time. There will be time- when people will accuse that I have not taken a stand- so what? need we be correct always?
So what is my identity- A patriotic Indian, who loves his fellow being. I love the life and work i do and believe in helping others. Rest all- let it remain as identity crisis.
I am just fine.

Bring up Baba by Birsa-2

The flavor of the season was very aggressive. It was nationalism wear at your sleeve time. India and Pakistan were on brink of war. first the Pulwama attack then India doing deep air strike. one up manship all around. Then that diamond of a fellow- wg comm Abhinandan. What a fine gentleman. I thought Birsa is not keeping upto breast and i tried to tell him the news snippet. oh gosh!!! he was fully aware of all the geo political situation. amazing me with critical analysis. though i am proud indian and deeply patriot- but his hatred for Pakistan somehow jarred me. He was awake till late night- to wellcome Abhinandan but slept off. and in morning- first thing after waking up- did those idiots respectfully returned our wing commander Abhinandan. I assured they did. He was humming some song till the bus stop.
Pride.. at one corner...
little bit of sadness-- how to make him love more.
it was all mixed emotions.
Only people who are worthy of our contempt and hatred is planet's corrupt politicians and bureaucracy ( and i think they spoil the whole world- regardless of country-- those obnoxious people who abuse the trust and power reposed on them). how to tell him that. to a 10 year old who knows why Assad is bad? why pakistan is bad ? why imran khan is no better than mussaraf???

The generation is coming up smart, exposed to many things easily.

Then we decided to  see URI. the movie.
He was so excited. and whispered into my ears-- when it was a critical moment of film--- i told ya-- these Pakistanis are all idiots. Tried telling him-- later- there are good people and bad people on both sides. and in entire world. we should cultivate good people and abhor the bad ones. Good people outnumber the bad people. But bad people do something which is irreplaceable. they kill love and peace.

Oh my despair- what world we are leaving behind for our next generation. full of fights, anger and violence. Reminds me of - where all the flowers have gone??

Stories from street side

I often get into detailed conversations with taxi drivers.. maybe because i take deep interest in all people around me. Yesterday when I was returning from mumbai palace to hiranandani- my ola driver was unique. His name was devid and he had 5 star rating. I noticed it and complimented him. He has been driving trucks and now ambulances in morning time and evening ola. typical story of a hardworking man. He started sharing about his family. Father a truck driver. how he entered the business. How his love marriage happened with girl who is mba. How he saved money and bought a flat ( slum development board). all honky dory story- the somewhere down the creek the story came out to be a family- where the younger brother is alcoholic, and wife being in combative mood when he returns. I asked him- if he wants to change his lot. does he desire to get maximum out of his life.He fell into my consultancy trap and said yes. 
I told him when he returns home at night- he has to ask his wife-- sincerely- how was her day? and find out 1 thing that she has done very nicely and praise like anything. Same way to his brother- find out what he did good and then tell him why he is the best brother and why he does not deserve to have alcohol.He realized he has never done this- and i helped him realize-- that we expect the world to have empathy on us and show extra dose of love but we fail to show empathy to others and also never love enough. The garrulous guy went silent. But when i got to my destination- i could feel the guy had taken my advice and he will be executing the plan.
then the miracle happened. ... Devid called me today evening after nearly 18 hours after he has done the normal business transaction. gave me a sincere thank you. he told me how he in years altogether saw what his wife does for him and appreciated her. after 3 years-- yesterday night was one night when she was not sounding irritated with him. she was surprised. He told' magic ho gaya' .
The second incident was about the driver who took me safely from Navi Mumbai to Pune and in record time 3 hours despite heavy traffic. He was telling me how 2 young ladies refused to pay Rs230 as toll just because someone told them it should be part of taxi- outstation ola bill. He was asking me- why the same ladies could spend more than 750 rs in macdonalds were so hell bent on not giving rs230. I had no answer for him-- why we practice so little of empathy.

would it not be a better place for us - for you , for me- if each of us strive to become little bit more pleasant. Is it necessary to be shrewd and cunning to win the game? specially when the game is game of life?

Did you practice empathy today?

Inertia of rest and motion

This blog idea was originally triggered by a chain of thought of my friend Arnab.  During one of his lecture of strategy his prof told this-"It is better to be toasted than be still and eaten alive by moth". He shared this with me and that set me thinking.. how profound.. how deep this thought is. Change is inevitable but still people try to stop it. How many times i hear that--- 'it has been like that way' as if that is final...nothing can change it. Then it reminds me the curious case of nokia ( that press conference where the teary eyed CEO- told- we did nothing wrong, but we sank), Intel missing mobile revolution, fed ex phoo phooing amazon- 10 years ago, or 'touch phone??'. History is replete with instances and stories. once you have stopped changing- you are dead. Yes, comfort factors are always there but challenging self and to go forward is something that we have to inoculate as organisation DNA.
Always movement is required. if you are not changing- forces beyond you will just move you around. So till the time you have energy- you got to move around.Keep the changes, study, learn, implement.The day you stop, you are dead.
That is the concept of inertia of rest and motion. A potential catastrophic situation. If you rest- others in motion will move forward and displace you. If you are on motion- but in same trajectory- you will be outsmarted soon.
so idea is- keep moving, keep innovating.

Leadership thoughts-Teamwork (Courtesy Arnab)

There are forwards and then there are some originals-- in whatsapp. Some thoughts and some threads take you to different plane of realization. One was from my childhood friend- Arnab... with his kind permission- quoting it below-
====================
Friends, recently on behalf of my ISB 2019 cohort, I had a chance to interact with commandant of Wagah/Atari outpost. I want to share a key learning from commandant’s experience that is equally applicable in our professional and personal life. My intent was to look for key leadership elements that the corporate world can apply.
So my question to him was - ‘ Amid all work pressures, continuous threat from enemy and a large team to manage, what keeps you going and motivated ?’.  Commandant’s response came very naturally - ‘ Sirjee, गोली किसी के लिए भी सेम होती है. कामंडैंट हो या जवान, गोली किसी को भी मार सकती है. So, all of us in defence forces have a common threat and hence we build our own identity. That identity is known by our unity and camaraderie. We live for each other and protect each other that keeps us always motivated.The feeling of togetherness is ahead of any other feelings.’

Very simple yet Profound! Its trust, care for each other and a common purpose that keeps all moving amid unfavourable situations and perilous tasks. Let’s think this through and apply in our respective areas. May be we can turn our professional and personal world a better place with commandants simple tips.  And by the way - Commandant is also a KV-ite!
=====================
This touched a chord somewhere- I was so touched that i did the usual forward. First was to loved ones, then to teammates, then to all whom i thought will benefit from it. I told and retold this story during the frontline leadership courses. 
The message that specially attracted me was the camaraderie during the tough times. That reminded me that leader is as strong as his team. Leader in any sphere of life should always be giver and nurturer. He/she has to sacrifice more to keep the common thread going on. If he keeps the team together then at time of crisis the team will give back. TEAM is nothing but together each of us achieve more. Leader is nothing but who binds and keeps it together by keeping the morale high and spirits up. An ideal leader has to work basis of chetwood credo. more on Chetwood credo and how it can be applied to leadership. But yes togetehrness starts from leader and then to team- which is hall mark of leadership.

Tribute to a fallen hero- 15 years later

It was Monday..First sales week of Jan2004. I remember the day.... I was feeling Lethargic and very sleepy. I had joined the new job couple of weeks back. The roles and responsibilities were getting assigned. The weekend was spent nicely. No.. it was not booze or partying that was acting like hangover ( Year change time is always a time to reflect, never had liquor). It was just a feeling of accomplishment. The new job offered 150% more money than the last job. Weekend I had splurged on 2 movies and bought 6 books. There was enough cash ( settlement from last job was done!!) in hand. I was feeling good about self. Cocky, accomplished and over confident.
Lazily pushing myself- I got ready and then picked up the bike key. There rested the Sunday newspaper... A story caught my eye. A Name.. Lt. Triveni Singh... A small agency report. Very dry news item. A militant attack prevented by an young officer in Jammu station. I think the news was titled something like- " Lt. Triveni played a real hero". quick reading and it said -- he was not required to, but he volunteered . He killed the 3 militants- who could have killed possibly 300 + pilgrims- who were in station that time.
I know that station, I have been there 2-3 times. .... crowded due to pilgrims of Mata vaishno devi. I could visualise the panic. and .. I could visualise the encounter.
Pushing the news item back- I started my bike. Reached office in koramangala from domlur. the intermediate road travel only 10 minutes. All the while the name .. stayed in mind Lt. Triveni singh. Reaching office--- yet to be given a proper place with other sales guys ( See--I was the junior most... and designated sales engineer!!!)- i had a place in server room. Researched the news item.
All of a sudden, Lots of memories flooded back...
A chance encounter..in one of the SSB for IMA. It was ( I think my 3rd or 4th attempt and i have forgotten the city- was it Bhopal or Varanasi .... i attempted SSB 7 times.. so excuse this one)- a typical young man. He was selected. The attitude in it self was the difference. His hobby was martial arts, he was national champion in that. The name was typical and stayed with me. I remembered how he wanted to be part of infantry. There were 2 guys debating during one evening of week long SSB ( He said Infantry is best, the other guy said Armoured corps).. finally they agreed- Infantry is king of battleground and Armoured corps the queen.Contrast that to- my only motivation  (year was 2000/01)to join Army was to forget the pain.. all pains of rejections and failures and what I thought I lost. As far as i remember-Both those guys went on to be selected. Memories fade, but I think i am correct in most particulars.

An electric shock went through me- when it sank within me. A guy of my age- showed such mettle , such courage and I was a mere sales engineer-- thinking I am on top!!!
In short- Lt. Triveni volunteered for QRT (quick reaction team). Led his team of soldiers and killed the terrorists- in close encounter. While doing so- he managed to save more than 300 pilgrims in Jammu station. One small 1 liner was a jolt to me. It was reported. Lt. Triveni was found very close to the last terrorist that he killed . lying down in a pool of blood- the 26 year old brave heart.. saluted his GOC . His dying words- " Mission Accomplished, Sir!!" . Yes, that guy was capable of that heroism, that leadership.
That day was one of my turning points- I decided-
I will never say no to an assignment. I will never ever give up.
My attitude to my work changed. My attitude towards my life changed. I put my heart and mind to work so much that excellence became a hall mark, a passion.Every sales win situation became a tribute to those guys. Those Gentlemen.. much better than me. who never complain what they don't have. Just do what has to be done. True Chetwood Credo. Be in what you love... maybe there will be failures etc... but still do your job perfectly.
Volunteering and taking up a difficult assignment became a professional pride- thereafter.
15 years has passed. I am grateful  and proud for the lessons learnt from Lt. Triveni and his supreme sacrifice. He may have lived for very short time. May have touched my life for may be not more than 1 day but taught me something- which stays with me forever.
A silent prayer to you--Please high five me, guide me in my leadership journey.
So that when I lie down- I can look in the eyes of HIM and can tell proudly just like you. Mission Accomplished, Sir ....

Bring up Baba by Birsa-1

This is first in series and I plan to keep a note of some interesting conversations between myself  (Baba) and my son (Birsa). He is growing fast and it is great experience.
This series was sparked by one unusual conversation.
I am one person who truly believes in Free market- even though i admit- my younger days first I was all for communism. The ideas of communism was very romantic for me. slowly I understood the fallacies of that line of thought and moved over to socialism. I still believe that socialism has good to offer but free market with human touch is required for world's growth. the same thought process overflows my ideas and i was lecturing Amrita- about benefits of free market and why she needs to be financially more literate. that the idea of earning money is not bad and money is important.

Birsa was listening and suddenly commented. Baba- Money is not everything.. and stop lecturing mumma. I was stunned. I asked why he thinks so and was bowled over by his explanation.
He said- Money is not everything as it cannot buy happiness all the time. Happiness can be got from some luxuries but mostly by being with mumma and baba. very simple but straight forward.
I had to beat a hasty retreat and explain that yes- money cannot buy happiness but it is important to make it nevertheless.

There was a deep meaning and lesson in this.

Birsa-- like any 9 year old amazes me-- the exposure they have, the deep sense and awareness. another very funny thing that i absolutely love is his changing ambitions.
For long- when he started to understand professions-- he was definite that he will become a doctor. I think because he adores his grandfathers ( both his maternal and paternal Grandfather are reputed doctors). Then one fine day- he decided that he needs to be a Car designer....and in a year it changed to Car designer plus mechanic !!! Then he graduated to being Astronaut. This i feel got inspired by multiple rocket & satellite launches  which I follow very keenly ( my customer success stories).But after he saw 2 astronaut falling from sky... He got really bothered about the safety aspect of it. He declared one morning.... He will study and be astronomer... Desk job for him. Astronaut job looks bit risky. No amount of counselling dispelling the myths helped. However when he started reading more books, his ambition became to be author. And he is determined that he will be such a good one that he will be having a special illustrator specific for his books. As of now we are stuck with a budding author who specializes in historical fiction and lots of fighting....Watch for more here. Amen.

Digital wave is sweeping us all

Six to seven years back- when Amazon used to suggest me what to buy even before I have clicked through the options- it sued to amaze me. Then somewhere down the line- the ads which used to suggest the most appropriate flights when I have just been thinking of going to meet Ma in kolkata or giving me suggestions of gifts in august or in November- i took these intelligent suggestions as some kind of granted magic. Slowly understood all these are part of digital wave. This is the new era of digital transformation. Whether it is ask avnet chat bot( which learns overtime- which microcontroller to suggest the customer, or what parts or articles they may like to read) or the exact song that youtube somehow managed to understand-- i need it is all part of it.
Best is- Google maps- or google assistant- understands what I am going to do or where i want to go. Effect to me as a sales guy was- when claiming for travel bills or for  car kms. Earleir- we used to have distance chart- office to customer- 16.5 kms, home to xyz supplier office- 12km. Now no need. just go to that date and see the exact km. It even asks you politely- were you there? and if you have taken photo- it shows a thumbnail of it. so cute. Basically you are identified with your email and phone number- and entire world is under convenience role.
Approximately 2 years back- my company which is traditional 95 years old- also moved to similar transformation and the results are encouraging. the adoption of digital tools- helps in increased productivity, better customer support.
But all the conveniences are for people who are honest and good. If you are being naughty- ok.... you will be exposed. For example- one of my teammate- youtube suggestions are all ... ok in mild words- erotic. and he was embrassed- when he had to open a content in front of me and the suggested  next clip was- " jawani ka hawas".. what fun in pulling his leg. He argued that all digital intelligence is eroding privacy.
I countered telling him- my suggestions are all nice and warm-- all old hindi movie love songs or motivational songs or new army/airforce videos. My wife's feeds is full of histry of empires, biology and cars ( ok!!! that one because of Birsa).
Digital transformation or revolution is sweeping us and people are trying to hide behind the curtain of privacy. on one hand you have no qualms in sharing your picture or check in when you are going from one airport to other...as if....
But that same person will lecture why AAdhar and google infringes his private private life.
So Privacy is real concern but it is your freedom - how you want to conduct your life. It will all be recorded and no point in cribbing about it. If you are a good citizen, good guy fundamentally- nothing to fear-- rather enjoy the benefits of digital revolution.
We are in interesting confluence of life- We have to concentrate on AI, VR, ML and Data analytics- main components of digital revolution. My next year goal is to be more knowledgeable about these and win more customer projects on it.

Solving field problems- using key principles

Among all the training that I have gone through during my professional stint-- my favourite will always be DDI training. Among various modules- the most important one is Communicating for leadership success or a.k.a communicating with impact. I have tried imbibing it in my personal life and have seen huge benefits. It talks about key principles and how you can use it to meet personal needs of the person you are interacting with. 5 of the principles are- Esteem, Empathy, Involvement, Share and support.

In very brief- for every interaction- we need to maintain or enhance self esteem.Many a times- people will get stuck- then maintain the esteem- if good accomplishments- then enhance it.Listen and respond with empathy--- in many a sales situation- this is the most important one.I was under firing line of a customer- who was comparing 2 leadership style- one who does not pick his call and another who even if busy- sends a message stating that he will call back. In most of the sales situation- when we are down and out- the simple reaction is flight.. donot pick that call and go for tough talks. I believe that is sheer disservice and disrespect. However difficult the situation may be- we have to talk and practice empathy. Short lead time order- complete order screw-up, ego being trampled by colleague in earlier interaction-- all and i repeat all can be solved by this practice.
3rd one- also can solve many sales oblong situation- ask for help and encourage involvement.. to build trust we can use sharing of thoughts, feelings and rationale ( where you need to!!). and final one is provide support but without removing responsibility. This type of support helps to build ownership.

I plan to write more examples and real life- examples of sales- and how it was solved using key principles. Stay tuned.

Pathos behind waiting

तलाश ना जाने किसकी हैं इस आँखों को,
हासिल हैं बहुत कुछ......मगर तसल्ली फिर भी नहीं..
वो याद आये यूँ ही बहुत..
की लौट आएं सब सिलसिले...
वो ठंडी हवा, वो  गिरते पत्ते
और वो कितने सारे यादें।
There is always a poignancy behind every 'missing' thoughts. The abnormally usual days of last quarter of year. The same challenges all over again. But the days.. They never fail to leave behind the imprints on our mind.
In mind, in our dreams... Reaching early to this great iconic metro. One of the nicest and safest city of India. The quite breakfast ..All veg fare. Then to go to our work. Then having the privilege of having a silent walk in Elliot beach. Silent, but full of meanings. Half life time waiting for such things to happen. Like an unfinished love story.Small vignette of talks. Catching up on life. Urging self to move on.The lighthouse... So mysterious yet so dignified. The orange hue of sunset and then counting the stars. Common ground of likes and wonderment.The company par excellence which is tied but ever youthful mind.  The slow fresh breeze giving the awesome fizz of life.New meaning, and refreshed outlook for life. Which still amazes me... The graceful steps, the slow and engaging talks.Those beautiful gazes. Then a great dinner...Which is always a fantasy. Always awesome.Never thought of but always dreamed of. Next day again breakfast with sweet memories of fantastic time. And after a hard day in field... Somehow matching time and again great company at terminal. Then it is always ...The same feeling so much talked but still nothing said.
In actual... It was  all finally very mundane. Only in back of mind planning. Nothing concrete. Usual responsibilities overwhelm. The same type of rough meetings. The usual firefighting. Multiple meetings. Solving problems. One at a time.Motivating the field and then at end of day. Feel empty.. When you are tired to the boots, a little roaming around in the streets of vadapalani. The sarvana bhavan also does not attract the lonely person any more.Feeling lost in front of that restaurant.. About turn, get into shell. Same old routine of punishing self... As if to find out how much I can stretch. 3 am to 1130pm in same day. Have I forgotten the rigour??. Clearing all emails, presentations and the calls. You just close the eyes and float away. The hard work clears the cobweb of mind.The rush of memories overwhelm. Next day, half empty airport. The delayed flight. In different times I may have welcomed it, just to have more time.Observe people. Study fellow being..Nice hobby. Count them only 6 of them. How strange. No pending emails, no calls. Closest of people will be busy. You feel embrassed to talk or whatsapp. You understand.Withdraw.You suddenly feel like crying..And find the tear ducts have been empty long back.Hard cold facts, hard cold numbers. The quarterly numbers fog the mind. No time for self pity. It is how life is, no time for nurturing the soft side of mine. But Keep loving, keep living. And it repeats.....

Beyond Fear

Beyond Fear
Lies Victory;
It is not my queer
to ask- what lies beyond.
Only thing i know- I am here.
Not to ask-why I ventured there.
It is only a liar who says- he is not afraid.
I for one will admit-
it makes me sweat with fear,
it makes my heart pound faster,
it makes me question my sanity.
Still I prod forward...
It is only the sweet smell of victory that beckons...
Because beyond fear lies victory.

-- From the pages of an old diary.

We always perceive a situation as difficult or challenging. That creates fear- is it doable or not? What happens if I fail?
What happens if people reject me? what if everything goes wrong.
Actually sometimes and someday- everything is set up to pull you down. It often happens - I am not ready for a meeting, the numbers are low, I did work for the program but it did not come out as I expected. Now the test with fire- and you tend to pray. but then the interaction goes just fine. People come to middle path and give agreement. In retrospect- those anxious moments seems so funny.
This happens with many- before exam, before a particular work- a phobia sets in. But if you have put your heart and mind into it, really worked for it- the result does come out just fine.

Efforts will yield result and will help to tide over the anxious moments. When we focus not on what others will say and do it just for the work itself- the results will be in favour of us.

So we need to focus on the means.. the end will take care of itself. When you are really scared of something, in reality its actually works out to be very simple.
N.B:- This blog entry and previous one was triggered by two simple questions. Thanks for helping me ponder. Thanks for inspiration.

Finagle's law of dynamic negatives

Finagle's law of dynamic negatives ,a.k.a corollary of Murphy's law- "Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment."

We are in rush-- in this world of instant gratification. There is no time to smell the flower, stop and wonder at the sunrise. See the beauty and marvel at this so precious life. and we get late.....
Typically we are not a nation of punctual personalities, but we try a lot.
I remember a time- when I was rushing to a business review meeting and due to one of my colleague- got late. not only that his car broke down. The meeting was scheduled @9am and we were stuck somewhere 500 mtrs from the building. It was Pune, the area an upmarket one, and we never expected delay-- lest we factored any of the mishaps. so we were 30 minutes late. The supplier boss- who was known for his punctuality told me- that we wasted 10 people 15 minutes and hence that is 150 minutes waste. further he calculated that as- worth $1M of business. The shameless avatar of mine got into overdrive- which smiled and accepted everything and proceeded with the business. the numbers were good, the results were good and focus was on what to do next and my delay was forgotten. After 3 weeks similar meeting was slated in Delhi and this time- he got in traffic and it was my turn to remind me that he got delayed 30 minutes and it cancels out the earlier debt. The ensuing  laughter was heard throughout the building.
But that veteran quoted Finagle's law of dynamic negatives.... Thanks Arun Sir...I will remain indebted to gurus like you forever.

Some time ago- one of my friend commented when in rush- and in traffic- the lateness is amplified. In full filmy style-- the statement was " Jab tum late hote ho, puri kayanath koshish karti hain tumhe aur late karane ki"... But Life goes on. when such things happen- we tend to do mistake. It is better to control our emotions and check for our sanity. Maid informs at last moment - not coming, kid says- this was required and now. all push and pull ... no time to breathe. but that is the time to smile. Because energy is contained by smile and positive vibes comes through. That positive vibes tends to rub of the nearby surroundings and accelerates the good things. when that happens- the zigsaw puzzle pieces just fall in place.
Next time when you are tensed being late and everything seems to be going against you. just take deep breath, smile at the adversity and walk on

By the way----- double corollary of --" Jab tum late hote ho, puri kayanath koshish karti hain tumhe aur late karane ki" is my favourite dialog of SRK-"Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko agar dil se chaho to saari kayanath tumhe usse milane ki koshish me lag jaati hai"

so May be we just need to do things according to law of attraction and leave the rest to destiny.
We are never late in life...

Some waiting are forever

I get uncomfortable when people wait for me. Like if someone waiting for me in railway station, airport or bus station to receive me. I have been out of my home since very young age-- but every time when there was time to return- I used to tell my parents not to come. This behaviour continues to this date. Later- when there was more luxury at offer-I will not take those privileges(still I deny!!). But it is not true that I donot like it.... It is simple equation- that the love that you show when you wait to receive someone is very powerful.
Somehow it has got in my mind that - such unconditional love is not  for me. It is not possible for someone, who can love me so much. So why the prepension?However I take it on me to receive anyone and everyone. I love to go out of way to receive, make people comfortable and feel wanted.I have trained myself to love.. Love unconditional...And waiting for someone is manifestation of that love.
In my younger days when placing long distance calls was a huge chore-- you need to book 'Trunk calls'- it was my duty to wait near the phone. Calls will come from overseas for my parents or from different family members. I always used to sit with a pen and paper to note down points- lest i forget. But my heart was so much into it that seldom a point missed my memory.

But some waits are forever. The wait for recognition. The wait for that elusive yes. The waits have been purely personal or truly professional.. some waits have yielded nothing but pain. Some waits have given spectacular success.There is romanticism behind those waits. Then there is always a perennial type of wait. That sad and fatalistic type of wait.

I wait for peace.
I wait for love.
I will wait for next time..Phir kahin, phir kabhi...I will wait forever....
Let the wait be forever , be eternal and transcend time.....I know it is very hard to wait for something which you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.