An ode to wistfulness

Read a good piece on TOI- supplement paper ( anatomy of breakup)- once passage was on wistfulness and words were very familiar. Took me down memory lane and i wanted to write.'Har khwab jo poora ho jaaye wo khwaab hee kya: hasraton kee khoobsoorti wahi to hai humen jo zinda rakhe ,aur rooh ko kasakta'

How very true!!! It reminded me- of my school days- when i had a burden to show my parents that i am a good student ( whereas i was not-- i was pretty ordinary)- when ma used to ask- when i will stand first ( instead of most of times standing second or in later years turning out disastorous results). My answer was- if everybody did good in academics then- who will bring the rear. Now i laugh at my audacity. but it remained a dream to do good/very good in academics.I used to put lots of effort- but somehow they never reflected in the grades.There were too many failures all along the struggle. Failures to get registered in minds and hearts , failures to get recognised among peers,failure to win over. there were success- but they were made very sweet- because of the failures.so limited no. of fearlessness crept in- when you know what rejection is, when you know you have to start from zero again. Remember- Mahatma had many false starts before he could steer our nation to independence. I am no mahatma- but a beleiver in his ways. In professional life- i always felt being shortchanged- the returns never that big which will complement the years of hardwork. Admitted sometimes i have willingly done mistakes,regretted- punished more than heavily- thrown away dream chances- but agin reddemed myself in my own eyes.There are too many dreams- which may not be fullfilled but maybe that is good. there will always be a wistfullness- to do better.

How to do better?

How to be a better son, husband, father all rolled into one. How to do better - customer service, selling to a customer,marketing my product line, serve my company?How do i say to myself before retiring for the day- it was job well done!!Answers are known, some implemented some still to be done. Remembering kargin martyrs on 10th anniversary of Kargil- but will i ever be able to better those young and fine chaps- who gave there life- so that we live a better life tomorrow?
to do better- let me be humble, work harder and win more.

Learning and unlearning from Gurus

It is my strong belief that we all go through various cycles of learning and unlearning throughout our life. My life till now has been one of that of a learner--continuous learner.I paused today to think of various influencer of my life- whom I deem as Guru. Guru or teacher need not always be some body very big in stature- but they all are huge influencer. My parents- were always the greatest influencers. Baba and Ma taught me to live life- as an ideal son,student,friend,worker,husband and now father.The teachings had always been very subtle- and non pressurizing. they taught me to think big. whenever i see that ad tagline- ' karo thoda jyada ka irada'- i remember them.My freinds had been mine good influence-all of them..too many to write there names.My teachers of school and colleges has been great motivators. My wife and kid teaches me everyday. My bosses had been kind and yes- great influences-Rakesh Mehta ( Taught the basics),John ( taught the fine naunces of corporate life),Ravindranath ( introduced me to semiconductor market), Ramani,Chandran-- all taught me a lot and still i learn from them. Neeraj, Raghu,Kasa,Youvraj-- had been great influences many times.I feel lucky to have so many people to learn from all the time. customers had been great teachers too-daily life is so interesting and so much to gain from. It has been an exciting and incredible journey.

Do you work to live or live to work?

This one is self question.Asked to myself- when i woke up early sunday morning today and was drean to open my laptop and key away the pending reports of the week. The reports were pending since Thursday- different types of weekly reports some asked by superiors, some by suppliers. and that set me thinking. I could not do them during normal hours of working as i was too busy in meeting sales requirement; or meeting customers- adressing there needs ( pull in of materials) etc etc.Can i reduce my workload by being more systematic, more through at first go- rather than firefighting most of the times.can i spend more time for myself then?? Hard to say. I love the work too much to even thinking it to be a chore - in short- i never whine due to work. Yes- there was a time - not very short while ago where i was crying for a fresh breath of air- as there was no work to be done. so is it bad to live to work.. rather the popular addage or maxim to work to live only. i doubt... if i love my work and it is so much a passion for me while i do the job- selling the semicon, making life bit easier for people in my team or outside it; making my customer successful ; making my sales people successful; making my bosses look good.. then it is worthy of all the sweats. so--- i live to work and love to work.

IEEE

IEEE is celebrating 125 years and the theme is focus on India. It feels nice to be part of IEEE for past 6 years.It has become more emotional bond than anything else. I always wanted to be part of IEEE- but in my engg college there was no branch as such at that time.I wanted to eb member- once I started my career- but the fees were beyond me. then some point- i could just afford it. I figured out- if I donot eat pizzas or watch movies- then that money can be channeled into this tag- that i desired most. I was so proud to present a paper in a engg college brance in Hyderabad- me, Aashay and another guy- we won the first prize in that paper presentation. It gives me a good feeling to be part of this great organisation- even though i am not active in the activities - either in local chapter or anywhere else. but it feels good to keep in touch with latest trends through spectrum and newsletters.

On Father's Day 2009

Just read reports on american News paper- about how b. Obama exorted american Fathers to be better fathers. It brought a smile to my face. We in India never need to celebrate fathers. they are taken for granted. Like i had always taken my 'baba' to be. My father-Dr. Sabuj Sengupta. Tall,handsome , witty, full of life, erudite, scholar, a great doctor, a great husband and a leader. So- after reading the piece- I just wondered- am i not lucky to have my father to be My father? He never let me know what hard times are? though i knew there were hard times, there were back breaking struggle that he took on with a smile on his face. He egged me on- without ever hitting me once ( ohh except once- --- he forbade me to put water over my head to protect me from catching cold in Puri- but i did-- as i always loved to do- always opposite to what he would have ideally liked me to do :-)

Today when i have become a father- I feel so much responsible. Will it be possible for me to be a better father than my father? looks a hard act to follow up!!
Only time will tell.

Year of sales

Sigh!! another year rolls by. Ok. i hear you asking--- another year? it is only June. Yes- for me in Avnet- year starts from July and ends in June. I plan everything around it. Life has been great ever since i joined Avnet. Q1-Q2-Q3-Q4. even deciding on holidays based on quarters.But there are multitudes of year ending. there is June end- when i am really busy- meeting and exceeding targets. This is avnet fiscal year. full life revolves around it. Then there is Indian fiscal around which I plan- tax paying( omg, so many types of taxes- I wonder where my hard earned money goes to- donot see any visible effect in improvement of life- except that corrupt people get richer and downtrodden get worse deal ever & us - the middle class--- less said better it is). Indian fiscal from april to march. so March is also very busy- you can sell more during Jan to march as all govt. people buy , buy &buy. then there is real Year- Calendar year- Jan to Dec. so Dec. is very busy end month again- you plan before US people go for holiday and stop taking your calls with a polite 'out of office' message.So Dec. is important.
that leaves my Fav. end of year which is yet ot be listed. September end. yes- usually that is festival time. either durga puja is coming or Diwali is coming..... that is best time of the year.So there goes a year of sales- FY09- Avnet was good, great and one of the best for me.

First Few days- My son- Birsa/Syamantaka/Kiddo

I thought i will post a photograph so that relatives and freinds can see the 'new kid'.

This one for you- my future!

Today-1 st May,2009 at 1701 Hrs.15 seconds- myself and Amrita were blessed with a baby boy. Morning- was different- than others- bangalore summer- saw some rain - when i came to know Amrita went into labor. all exitement broke lose. My parents her parents- rushed here and there. Parents started tonight itself to see their Grandson- damn happy couple.I will be going to Varanasi via Delhi tomorrow early morning.For records- our 'Kiddo' weighed 3.5 Kgs.I cannot wait till i see him. I was hearing siddhi vinyak chants ( tata sky) when the birath took place.

Excercising your right to vote

It is important that we all vote. but sadly- due to my crushing travelling schedule- i will not be able to do so this time.my voter registration is in westBengal- and i have not grown enough roots in bangalore to transfer it. kind of emotional for me.I wish there was voting possible through net ( like i select my president through web vote in ieee.Over the years- i have become completely apolitical and prefer none of the stakeholders.though there are good leaders around- butit will take us years to make this better democracy. We are heading towards years of confusion this time as i assume that we will have hung house and all types of frivolous elements will hold the country to ransom.

To Pune!!!

Will be going to Pune again- regional review!! and i look forward each quarter or every chance to go to this beautiful city. Pune grows on you. I was quite annoyed when my then boss Rakesh Mehta asked me to relocate to Bangalore and take the challenge. In retrospect - that was the best thing that couls have happened to me. Thank you Mehta sir!! But by then i had spent 2 years in Pune. My life's best of the times, worst of the times ( oops!! that line taken from Dickens- pls don't consider it as copyright violation). It is another thing that i am now certain that nobody reads these random thoughts and i can get away with whatever i right. This is better than my journals i used to keep.
ok... Pune. I loved Pune- i get nostalgic about Pune. the Garware pul, the unlimited thali in janta ( near shambhaji putla). 4 rs- in dukkar ( a strange vehicle- now banned) from Kothrud to Apte road. Time spent with collegues of mechatronics and bitmapper. I sometimes take a walk at night after coming back to hotel room ( i still prefer to stay near apte road).FC road is still same - will always remain same- Girls all wrapped up in morning ( Sun must feel bad- He cannot touch those beautiful damsels); and in their finest in evening. I and Rahul- used to freshen our mind in saturday evening after a hard week by walking from one end of fc road to other end ( discussing philosophy and politics). that phone booth is no more there....( visiontek manuf.- so when i went to there manuf in Hyd. i was remembering them). that Ganesh lodge is torn down ( 20 rs per day rent)-- it was the only thing affordable for me. that night- when i cried over the double bridge- in pain- over not getting what i wanted. now thinking back- God is great- He made me toil and get everything after i put efforts.Pune will always remind me of hard days, struggle, love and pain. It will also remind me of freinds made for lifetime.

Connecting & Reconnecting

I was always fascinated by web from early on. I remember- being the first one in my first year engg class ( in 1997) who spent 60 Rs/hr to create an email account. it still functions- sengupta_sambit@yahoo.com I created in a internet shop in DP, Nagpur.then slowly i became power user.I graduated to have my own website, blog, more email ids etc.catched the fever of social networking over web in 2006. found it too addictive ( and anything addictive- i leave like hot potato). but today i had lots of time. I felt over years- i have become too unsocial- more a loner and self centred. that tendency was always there- but it has grown more. more proof- one of my best freind -Sanket-lives just downstairs and today i saw him after 15-20 days. He had a quizical face- he knows me that what i am- so may have pardoned my ways. Actually my wife is just opposite- she makes freinds, laughs and very outgoing- she cannot live without talking with multiple people for 10 mins.
so i had time and sent out too many requests to all old freinds over orkut. the responses have started coming in- some are plain incredulous- isko ho kya gaya? sambit is that you -- kind of....

Ahhh!! finally a trophy in showcase

Right from my childhood days- there was this unspoken desire in me- to see myself as a recipent of trophy. I remember the days in school- I used to participate in all events ( i was a silent competitior always!!)in hope that i will get a trophy. I used to win prizes- everyyear the pattern was kind of similar (1 prize in academics - i used to stand second or third- never the first boy); 2 in extempore speeches ( always first in English and Hindi ones) and 1 in recitation= total 4 prizes. But my school always used to honor me by giving a nice certificate and some kind of utensils. By 1993- i had collected so many of them- that Ma used to joke during annual days (ok, boy- this time how many 'katories'( hindi word for bowls)?)-- ohh horror!!!
I once won a corporate quiz- thought that they will give a trophy- they did give- one- but i kept it with such care in my bike- that it broke in transit. During my higher studies- there was never a scope of winning trophies- was the best student with worst results always. Then i gave up. Then Amrita came in my life--- i openly expressed my jealousy of her Gold medals ( poor girl!! she put it into our locker).
and i forgot all my passions- work took all precedance. I read Randy Pausch's book- the last lecture and felt the pang somewhere.

And finally that day came- without much ado- like all big events of my life- very silently. In all India analog disty meet- Bangalore - my product supplier- Texas Instruments honored me by giving Best product manager- India. And they gave a trophy. the photographer had to click the photo twice- I took it from Steve Parks- and maybe- i closed my eyes- first- yes- everything went past me- zippppp!!!

I shared this with ma and amrita- two freinds who know me better than me. Both of them laughed. I kept it in showcase. and then thought now what? what next? more work? what about another trophy???

Seeds of revolution

In my opinion real Gandhi was born when he was thrown out of the train in South Africa. Rest as they say- is history.If you followed up the sequence of events before this incident and after this- you can pinpoint- revolutionary gandhian principles came from this. Though getting freedom for ourselves was a team game and there were many actors who brought sweet Indian independence- but shoving out Gandhi on cold winter night on a station- contribted much to a new revolution.
today- i had a similar experience but maynot be as ugly as what mahatma faced- but ugly enough to create a steely resolve within me.
while coming to shenzhen using ferry service from HK airport ( skypier)- i had worst possible encounter with customs officials of china. everything was ok till i landed in shekou port. Usual efficiency of HK was at its best display ( thank god it is still specially adminstered zone). I don't know why they held me up and interroated fiercely- as if i am somebody who has landed to create trouble for the china. think about it- china the country which i admire a lot becuase of its history and culture and shared connections with india. and here it was- some customs officials made me run up and down and harrassed me to a large extent. so much so- i was resigned to possible deportation back. ( would have been a great story for future generations -- though). They found fault with my N in sengupta and photograph and my coming to china and its purpose. I think too much caution on china part is slowly killing business prospects. It is time that we took over the lead in business.I was really hurt by the behabiour meted out to me- one who landed only to give a presentation in TI- Avnet summit.

New year with a book

I always wellocme new year by completing a new book this year it was- The last lecture by randy Pausch. It was very moving and inspiring to me. i forced amrita also to read it.now i bought all four editions of speaking tree- but i will not touch them till i complete 'Mohandas'. i also read ' my experiments with truth'- 8th time in last 12 years... Each time something new to learn.