An ode to wistfulness

Read a good piece on TOI- supplement paper ( anatomy of breakup)- once passage was on wistfulness and words were very familiar. Took me down memory lane and i wanted to write.'Har khwab jo poora ho jaaye wo khwaab hee kya: hasraton kee khoobsoorti wahi to hai humen jo zinda rakhe ,aur rooh ko kasakta'

How very true!!! It reminded me- of my school days- when i had a burden to show my parents that i am a good student ( whereas i was not-- i was pretty ordinary)- when ma used to ask- when i will stand first ( instead of most of times standing second or in later years turning out disastorous results). My answer was- if everybody did good in academics then- who will bring the rear. Now i laugh at my audacity. but it remained a dream to do good/very good in academics.I used to put lots of effort- but somehow they never reflected in the grades.There were too many failures all along the struggle. Failures to get registered in minds and hearts , failures to get recognised among peers,failure to win over. there were success- but they were made very sweet- because of the failures.so limited no. of fearlessness crept in- when you know what rejection is, when you know you have to start from zero again. Remember- Mahatma had many false starts before he could steer our nation to independence. I am no mahatma- but a beleiver in his ways. In professional life- i always felt being shortchanged- the returns never that big which will complement the years of hardwork. Admitted sometimes i have willingly done mistakes,regretted- punished more than heavily- thrown away dream chances- but agin reddemed myself in my own eyes.There are too many dreams- which may not be fullfilled but maybe that is good. there will always be a wistfullness- to do better.