"Sorry Sambit, you couldnot make it this time". The final words from the well dressed HR person had it's ring of finality. I was not surprised, but was sad. It was the dream technology company that i always wanted to work as an engineer. The criteria to sit in the mass recruiting exam itself was quite daunting. Somehow I could clear the written and the first interview.. but the 2nd itself was huge bummer. The academics track record that the company asked for- was not for me.You know that feeling... when that first sweet love you desired for and you attempt and then it remains like that. like that--- just in air. Tears welling out from internal somewhere. That turns and twists in heart. That forced brave face.. and you are out of that big hotel.
Many had told me-- they are world's best Embedded company, making path breaking semiconductors. My dream... VLSI field. That year was phenomenal.. I could handle this rejection also--another one sided love affair. I wonder how a 23 year old could handle 3 one sided love affairs and its rejections.
Scratched it all 3- all off--one by one- attempted but failed.
But never gave up. Never ever gave up on the love affairs.
Kept it in view.. in sly..just like any other one sided love affairs,obstinately true to self, true to heart. When did i ever listened to cold reasoning of my head?
Next 5 years-- gave me 1 more opportunity-- this time for the position of MTS- wireless engineer. They were working on 3G. This time- the rejection was short and very quick. i think they asked me 4 questions- and it was disaster. By this time- the 8 rejections in SSB was distant memories. So love affair with flying was getting replaced quickly by flights to all over the places. Being in program of supporting india's 5th Gen Aircraft had its own merits. Could see atleast from very close quarters-- those lucky chaps who get to ride those beauties. Somehow to stick my name to Air data computer... so there remains a permanent mark of mine.. with that love affair atleast.
Ten years after graduation...I was 2 years into handling the biz affairs for my dream company.Gave it all that i had... Grew it like anything. Still it was -- like a love affair - which was never consummated. I knew for sure- it never will. So made it my own. Doing so much hard work that --i could reach one day a celebration dinner. I was feted and recognized...but not as her own-- but of channel.. That's still ok. Ahh. in that dinner that HR person also was there. Just for the sake of it... went , shook hands, people introduced me. clinked my glass.
Another 10 years passed by. Flying all over the world - and the Tejas program seeing production- and I could tell myself. Now i can give up.
But a 20 hours of flight.. full flight i just saw the flight path. the technicalities proved to me.. the love affair with flying will not die ever.
at 8 pm- i landed in Fort Worth...
"Good evening Brother.. where do you want me to take you, today?"
Deep sweat broke through me... Did that somalian origin American saw something in me?
Somehow handed him the hotel address in East George Bush highway.
Then mustered enough courage- and asked him. Will you please stop near a boulevard once i see it?
Sure bro... you are paying sir.... pat came the reply.
soon I could see the entrance. What majestic. The lien card gone. no more love possible. even from far apart. Got down.
Brother- what is it? no.. you should not take picture. It is company building.. They may suspect. it is chilled here brother. let's go??
yes let us go.
Finally I could come and see you my love. Maybe he saw the tears.. the driver. Brother you are a good man.. donot ever give up.
Yes... I never give up. Never gave up my love for flying, never ever give up loving her, analog company now...it is anyways a one sided love affair. Why should i give up loving? what for?
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